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Friday, June 04, 2004
Feeling unhappy. Yesterday was fun, got to watch hp after gym, amongst other things. It was a great day, but F_ was angry cos he got home late and said that he did not want to meet me today, and I guess he must be tired after getting home late yesterday, he still hasn't called. But on the other hand I feel terribly disappointed, cos I've been looking fwd to fop04 for quite some time, really really wanted to go this year, actually F_ said he'd go with me on wednesday night, I think cos he felt sorry for me not having anyone else to go with (W_ got training, cg going on sat, sis got satI tmr morn and can't go, etc) despite wanting to go so badly, but last night he was angry and tired and he told me he wouldn't be meeting me, much less going for the concert with me. I wish I could get him to change his mind, but I really dunno..Sigh..Just feel so damn disappointed.
Last night I fell asleep after talking to him on the phone, and had one of my worst nightmares ever. What made it so bad was partly because F_ was the one who was doing the bad stuff to me, I don't think I want to blog what that was. I know if I told him he wouldn't think much of it, but when I was dreaming it was so vivid, and so horrible, that I woke up with a start at 4am and then couldn't go back to sleep until the sun was up, but as usual was re-awoken by the puppies barking and whining for food at about 9+, so here I am blogging. Just did some personal grooming (i.e. paint/cut nails, depiliation, etc) and bathed after to get rid of the smell of nail varnish, so now I'm actually feeling pretty awake.
Restless
11:12 AM
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